If you break up doing engagement, are you giving the ring back? Hell no. You're going to pawn that ring and take your new man to Jamaica so you can get your thoughts together. Why fellas, you still got 57 easy payments of $79 .98. With your dumb ass.
And then the day that wed, fellas, you find out none of this wedding ceremony is about you is all about the bride. I know it's right. That's why I'm telling them. That's why I'm telling them. Because when the bride gets to that church, everybody in the church is running up to the bride telling her, girl, this is your day.
This is your day. Fuck him. Fuck his mama. This is your day. You are beautiful. She's got on a dress called $12 ,000. They've been sewing this dress the past 12 months. Fellas, this shit you wear, you got to take back the next day.
Other people in war this shit, you got on the little boy's shit shoes. You stand at the altar like, I can't believe I got this shit on, man. Why five of your friends sitting over there like, you got us in this shit too. Then she gets a procession down the middle of the church.
All eyes on her. But before the bride comes out, it's a pre -parade. First the ring bearer comes down with the ring on the little pillow. Then here comes the flower girl that throw out rose petals so she doesn't mess up the bride's new shoes.
Then comes your best friends and her best friends. Then the music changes. Everybody in the church looks to the back of the church and the bride comes out to theme music like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Fellas, your dumb ass comes from the sideline, the bullpen, the penalty box some damn where. People don't even know you. Where did he appear from? Is he a magician? I didn't know they were doing magic tonight. Is he David Copperfield? Then at the reception, fellas, this lets you know no man in that reception is going to let the shit that happened to you happen to them.
But every woman in there is ready to be that bride. When the bride gets ready to throw that bouquet, every woman in the reception is out on the floor jockeying for a position. This woman out there married already like girl Sam been fucking up.
Let me catch this bouquet. His ass will be out of here. This woman wasn't even invited to the reception coming in like, excuse us. We heard y 'all was throwing a bouquet bitch. That's what we do. We catch bouquets.
Give us some room. When the grooms get ready to throw that garden, the only one on the floor is a ring bear. He's 70 years old. Like man, my mom and kid made me come out here. I don't know what none of this shit is about.
If I catch it, I'm going to use it as a sling shot shit. So that's my public service announcement to the fellas. Don't let them get you. If you do make sure that wedding's about you, you come down to send out. Get your own theme music here comes the dude.
We need us one of those, don't we? We tired of coming through the little sad door. You know, ain't nobody see us. We're in the same tuxedo your brother in law won 68. Alright, I'm about to go, man. All my ass.
I don't do as much work as they pay me for. I don't do extra shit. But before I go, y 'all been such a good crowd. I'm going to give y 'all a little bonus joke. Y 'all want a clean joke or dirty joke? Dirty joke. Look at all the filthy people.
We'd like dirty. Give us some dirty. Right now, that's what we want. We want a dirty joke. Okay, now here's your dirty joke. Now let me preface the joke with this. Remember you asked for it.
Now at the end of the joke, don't be oohing an eye and talking about you wrong for that. That was too nasty, that was too dirty. It's not a true story, so take it for the comedy and the joke, all right? Okay, here we go. This guy came home late from work one night, day before his wife's birthday.
So he looked up in the bedroom window, all the lights was out. He thought to himself, he was like, ooh, I'ma go up there and give her a little pre -birthday surprise. She ain't gonna never forget. So he tiptoed up to stand.
He went in the bedroom, all the lights was out. All he could
If you break up doing engagement, are you giving the ring back? Hell no. You're going to pawn that ring and take your new man to Jamaica so you can get your thoughts together. Why fellas, you still got 57 easy payments of $79 .98. With your dumb ass.
And then the day that wed, fellas, you find out none of this wedding ceremony is about you is all about the bride. I know it's right. That's why I'm telling them. That's why I'm telling them. Because when the bride gets to that church, everybody in the church is running up to the bride telling her, girl, this is your day.
This is your day. Fuck him. Fuck his mama. This is your day. You are beautiful. She's got on a dress called $12 ,000. They've been sewing this dress the past 12 months. Fellas, this shit you wear, you got to take back the next day.
Other people in war this shit, you got on the little boy's shit shoes. You stand at the altar like, I can't believe I got this shit on, man. Why five of your friends sitting over there like, you got us in this shit too. Then she gets a procession down the middle of the church.
All eyes on her. But before the bride comes out, it's a pre -parade. First the ring bearer comes down with the ring on the little pillow. Then here comes the flower girl that throw out rose petals so she doesn't mess up the bride's new shoes.
Then comes your best friends and her best friends. Then the music changes. Everybody in the church looks to the back of the church and the bride comes out to theme music like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Fellas, your dumb ass comes from the sideline, the bullpen, the penalty box some damn where. People don't even know you. Where did he appear from? Is he a magician? I didn't know they were doing magic tonight. Is he David Copperfield? Then at the reception, fellas, this lets you know no man in that reception is going to let the shit that happened to you happen to them.
But every woman in there is ready to be that bride. When the bride gets ready to throw that bouquet, every woman in the reception is out on the floor jockeying for a position. This woman out there married already like girl Sam been fucking up.
Let me catch this bouquet. His ass will be out of here. This woman wasn't even invited to the reception coming in like, excuse us. We heard y 'all was throwing a bouquet bitch. That's what we do. We catch bouquets.
Give us some room. When the grooms get ready to throw that garden, the only one on the floor is a ring bear. He's 70 years old. Like man, my mom and kid made me come out here. I don't know what none of this shit is about.
If I catch it, I'm going to use it as a sling shot shit. So that's my public service announcement to the fellas. Don't let them get you. If you do make sure that wedding's about you, you come down to send out. Get your own theme music here comes the dude.
We need us one of those, don't we? We tired of coming through the little sad door. You know, ain't nobody see us. We're in the same tuxedo your brother in law won 68. Alright, I'm about to go, man. All my ass.
I don't do as much work as they pay me for. I don't do extra shit. But before I go, y 'all been such a good crowd. I'm going to give y 'all a little bonus joke. Y 'all want a clean joke or dirty joke? Dirty joke. Look at all the filthy people.
We'd like dirty. Give us some dirty. Right now, that's what we want. We want a dirty joke. Okay, now here's your dirty joke. Now let me preface the joke with this. Remember you asked for it.
Now at the end of the joke, don't be oohing an eye and talking about you wrong for that. That was too nasty, that was too dirty. It's not a true story, so take it for the comedy and the joke, all right? Okay, here we go. This guy came home late from work one night, day before his wife's birthday.
So he looked up in the bedroom window, all the lights was out. He thought to himself, he was like, ooh, I'ma go up there and give her a little pre -birthday surprise. She ain't gonna never forget. So he tiptoed up to stand.
He went in the bedroom, all the lights was out. All he could
